Summertime often means getting together with in-laws. While some look forward to this opportunity others dread it and can get very physically emotional about the pending visit. Here’s an article that we included in Family Times last November that you and your spouse might find helpful.
Mothers-in-law might be the butt of many a joke, but actually for many people in-laws are anything but a laughing matter. While there are, of course, those who are close and supportive, there are also others whose criticism and interference have devastating effects on the marriages of their children and their partners. So, what can you do to develop a healthier relationship with your in-laws and keep your own marriage together?
- As a couple, always show support for one another and display a united front.
- Try not to criticize your in-laws in front of your partner. Remember that he/she will normally have at least some sense of loyalty to his/her parents and your running them down will only cause your partner to feel defensive.
- In the kindest possible way, make it clear to your partner that you expect you and your marriage to come first.
- Always show respect to your in-laws, even if you don’t feel that they deserve it.
- Understanding your partner’s past and his/her family relationships goes a long way toward developing tolerance for your in-laws, so talk to him/her about them.
- Work with your partner to set boundaries in relation to such things as privacy, shared vacations, visits to see the grandchildren and so on.
- Resentments can build up quickly when we let other people take over and when we keep things to ourselves. Learn to say no if your in-laws start to take over your life.
We hope you enjoy getting together with your extended family this summer.
Blessings to you and yours.
